The 7 Brands You'll Meet at a Party

October 28, 2015

 

Can I be Candid?

 

If we spoke in real life the way we often speak about our brands, we would soon find ourselves with very few friends. 

 

Imagine a cocktail party that features these common brand personalities, and tell me which one you'd like to hang with:

 

It's All About Me: This guy starts off talking about the awards he has, before going into great detail about the type of guy he is and why people think that's 'just super'. When he's not talking about himself, he's talking about you; specifically the ways you could, and should, be more like him.

 

The Bad Storyteller: Instead of beguiling you with a quick story in an engaging way - this brand goes into extreme detail about stuff nobody cares about, making the end of their story more of a sweet relief then a rally to action. They are always wondering why people walk away in the middle of their sentences...

 

Too Cool for School: This guy talks in the most trending slang, using words you are pretty sure he either made up or heard someone say earlier that day. They are always changing their mind about basic philosophy and rarely, if ever, have an original thought. But in their minds, they are the best thing to happen to, well, everything (they probably have a few awards they think make them pretty special, and they wear them on their shirt). Heaven forbid you give them some constructive criticism - they will snap! 

 

Boring Guy: You aren't sure why he's even here. Clearly he got an invite and he clearly saw some value in showing up - but that's about it. He doesn't seem all that invested in the party or in you as an individual - and if you do strike up a conversation, he talks in monotone, uses words that aren't real and starts stories that don't go anywhere. 

 

Thrilled to See You: This person makes it very clear he wants to talk to you. He makes you feel like the most important person in the room and is always asking questions and steering the conversation to revolve around what you like. He introduces you to other friends he knows you'll click with and when he does talk about himself, it's to build on a topic you already brought up. The next day he calls you to tell you he really enjoyed meeting you and can't wait to see you again. 

 

Redundant Dude of Redundancy: This person has a one track mind. They repeat the same stupid antidote matter who's listening and tell the same outdated story over and over, despite nobody ever providing positive feedback. You can try to leave the room, but they are magically there as well - saying the same uninteresting story, over and over and showing you that picture of their weird-looking baby - ahhhhh!

 

Bland Vanilla Guy: He's not mean or rude, in fact, he's probably nice. Problem is his stories are exactly the same as the last three people you met. When you ask him a question he keeps his answers vague so as to not offend, and no matter how hard you try, you can never remember his name. 

 

So, which person are you going to give your time to? There's only one attractive choice here...

 

And yet, most of the brands I come across fall under one of the many other versions of boring, self-centered, unmemorable, unvalued and unapproachable personalities listed above.

 

Which are you?

 

If you don't know - I can help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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